Thursday, 23 December 2010

One Liners

For some strange reason I find my self interested hugley in one liners, you know the ones, like the jokes your dad tells at dinner or one your math teacher would crack. I feel so obbsessed that I thought I'd dedicate an entire blog post to them. So for your great enjoyment in no particular order, here are my top ten puns:

  1. I was playing golf with a loaf of bread the other day, wasn't very fun. I kept slicing it.
  2. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
  3. I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
  4. A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
  5. Friction can be a drag sometimes.
  6. Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.
  7. Beware of Alphabet Grenades… if you throw them, it could spell disaster!
  8. I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing – serves him right.
  9. "Black beauty, now there's a dark horse!!!
  10. I tell you what is close to my heart at the moment. My left lung.
Look, i know they're awful, but for some reason, i love them. No I didn't write any of them, but on various forums and a Tim Vine DVD. But if you think you can beat the ones above, feel free to leave a comment!


  1. I like one liners too. Not really a one-liner but...I'm the most humble man in the world.

  2. I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

    My favorite!

  3. "We are living in an age where friends have benefits, but employees don't"